Finding Community Through Music, Loss, and Chronic Illness

Written by: Keith Berkman

Music and dancing is a tribal experience. We all yearn for community, even if we do not realize it. This is where I found mine, and I am so grateful for it.

Growing up, my three brothers all played guitar, and two of them were in bands. We all had different but overlapping music tastes, and we spent so much time bonding over this. Some of the happiest memories of my life are going to shows with Fran’s band and sitting around listening to the three of them jam out.

Because of that focus on instruments, I think I had a subconscious bias that electronic music was not “real” music. So it was not until 2019 that I first really heard it. A friend convinced me to go to Brooklyn Mirage for the experience, this massive outdoor, castle-like music venue, and I am really glad he did.

Finding yourself flowing through a crowd, everyone moving to the same BPM, everyone showing up with their own quirks. In life, we perform every day to meet expectations. We act like that is who we are. But in that space, even though people are performing, they are not hiding it. They are showing up fully as themselves.

You see people expressing their style, their energy, their personality. Some dancing with incredible technical skill, others just moving however the music takes them. A tribe of weirdos being weird, gathered around a sound system.

It did not take long for me to realize this is my community.

The Moments That Shaped Everything

In 2019, I met my ex-wife, and we are still good friends, at a Lane 8 show at Brooklyn Mirage. A few years later, we got married, and that same night, we went to see Lane 8 at Brooklyn Mirage again.

That is how important this community has been in my life.

Life was good until it was not.

Things got hard. My ex-wife’s father passed away. My oldest brother, Rob, passed away. My wife and I divorced. And then I had my first MS flare, which landed me in the hospital for five days.

Finding an Outlet When Everything Falls Apart

During that time, I knew I needed a creative outlet. It had always been in the back of my mind, but I never acted on it.

So I decided to try DJing.

And I finally found my instrument.

Rob spent his whole life building community through music. If you are a more spiritual person, you could say his spirit lives on through me. If you are more scientific, you could say this is my way of coping.

Either way, I felt a strong pull to carry forward something that mattered so much to him.

Navigating Health and Gratitude

When it comes to my health, I was lucky. The attending physician at NYU was an MS specialist, and he is still my neurologist today. Thank you for your care, Dr. Charlson.

Over the next six months, the care I received, the facilities, the treatment options, and the medication, were incredible.

When things finally stabilized, I felt a responsibility to give something back.

Turning Community Into Purpose

I joined the Emerging Leaders Alliance, a junior board for the National MS Society. They host events like Walk MS, Bike MS, Climb MS, and also support do-it-yourself fundraising events.

I was not exactly sure what my role would be, but I had an idea.

What if I created a dance event?

What if it happened during the day, so people did not have to sacrifice sleep? Sleep is critically important when you are living with autoimmune disease, and honestly, for anyone over 25.

Months later, that idea turned into something real.

I met Kim, the owner of Signal, and told myself that if she agreed to provide the venue, I was going to make this happen.

She said yes, and she has been an incredible support ever since.

Dance Infusion became a reality. It brought together everything that mattered to me: music, community, and raising awareness and funds for MS, all in one space.

Building Something Bigger Than Yourself

Now, Angela Tabone and Kendall Leary, who I met through the MS community, have joined me in carrying Dance Infusion forward.

Martin, known as KRNeY, and Kyle, known as Kloud9, the two people who gave me my first DJ lessons, will be joining me for Dance Infusion 2.

I get to collaborate with incredible people and small businesses like Kim at Signal and Amanda at BeWell, who are pouring their passion into these communities.

What Community Really Means

In life, I have my small crew of family and friends.

I have my music and dance community.

I have my MS community.

And I have Rob’s spirit with me.

In other words, my life is full.

And in its own way, it is perfect.