Save Your Spoons in December

There’s a type of magic that comes with the month of December. The lights turn on earlier, the traditions come back, and there’s just this unspoken need to mean it. But for many, especially those dealing with chronic illnesses, loved ones to care for, or just so much energy, the holiday season just might not seem so magical.

At BeWell, we think it doesn’t have to be an either/or situation during the holiday season. You can choose not to do it all and still have a special December. This is where some of the best holiday memories can come from, slowing down, simplifying, and celebrating what your body and mind can manage.

It’s not about denial and ‘saving spoons'; it’s about choice to choose where you place your energy so you can fully appreciate the experiences that matter most.

Let Convenience Be a Tool, Not a Guilt

One of the most draining experiences that this time of year brings, however, is holiday shopping. The crowds, standing in line, and underlying tension of overwhelm are enough to drain you in a fraction of the time that this month should take up in full.

Online shopping, curbside pickup, and delivery options are not cheats; these are concessions that allow you to save your energies for those activities that bring you joy as opposed to draining them before the midpoint of this month has passed.

Groceries, returning goods, and running errands are all examples of this as well. If you are able, try grouping these types of tasks together when possible, and choose options that allow you to stay at home. The less travel, the less use of your spoons. At the least, schedule curbside pickups and stay right in your car.

Reduce Traditions, Don’t Reduce Their Meaning

Gift wrapping, baking, or decorating have historically become shrouded in nostalgia, which makes it difficult at times to hinge or align expectations. Traditions, however, do not lose their meaning simply because they change.

Wrapping: Reusable wrapping, like gift bags, can help you with limited energy and dexterity. If you shop all year, setting aside the wrapping of a few gifts throughout the year makes it doable. Solicit help. If you have a friend or family that enjoys wrapping. Have them over to help, provide a meal, and play Christmas music.

Holiday Cards: Sending holiday cards can be exhausting, especially when you're not feeling your best. Consider sending digital cards, ordering cards with preprinted addresses, or skipping them altogether. If you enjoy doing physical cards, don't do it all in one day. One day, stamp and return address labels; one day, address the envelope; and one day, sign the cards. You can even send New Year's cards in January when the holiday rush has passed. The people who love you aren't keeping score. If all you have time for this year is posting your family photo on social media, that is ok too.

Baking: And let’s not forget that baking does not have to mean hours spent in the kitchen. Simple treats, even store-bought ones, are full of love. Does it take too much energy to clean up from the scratch baking? Buy store-bought dough and just bake. Host a cookie-making day and sit in a chair to handle your task while others can help with the strenuous parts.

Lights: If outside lights are too much. That is ok. Focus on what will make you happy inside, where you spend your time. Maybe it is not lights around the hallways. Maybe it's just a strand of lights around your kitchen backsplash. Don't forget smart switches and timers can make your life so much easier too!

Trees: Have a high ceiling and feel the need for a tall tree? Don't. You can find a fake tree that is easy for you to handle and store. 3-5 ft trees are enough to still enjoy lights and ornaments. Some people even have just a tabletop tree. Do what works for you. 

Traditions With Kids: You don't have to visit every holiday attraction, bake a dozen cookies, or create elaborate holiday activities to make Christmas magical. Sometimes the traditions children remember most are the simplest ones: watching the same Christmas movie every year, reading a favorite holiday book, or driving around to look at Christmas lights. Choose traditions you can realistically enjoy together, even on the days you're not feeling your best.

None of that needs to happen all at once: decorating the tree, stringing up the lights. Maybe this is an activity that doesn’t necessarily have to feel like work but could be something enjoyable in smaller chunks, as an event among other events.

There Can Be Numerous Forms of Hosting

Most tiresome is the notion that one host must do all the work of entertaining. Potluck gatherings, catered affairs, or inviting guests to help with setup and cleanup are all rational, enabling decisions. Most people will accommodate. They just have to be asked. They remember being together, not who made or purchased the turkey.

Another helpful trick? Prepare what you can ahead of time. Set the table the day before, use disposable dinnerware if it makes life easier, and choose foods that can be made in advance. There's no award for doing everything from scratch. Crockpots are your friend. One benefit of hosting is that you can control the time. Do you ever dread a late starting holiday party that does not even start until 6 PM? Guess what, if you host, you get to pick the time. Start your party at 4PM.

It’s okay not to host anything, either. It's the presence that counts, not the packaging, and the best gift you might be able to give yourself and others could be the gift of taking care of your energy.

Give Yourself Permission with Social Commitments

December brings with it a crowded calendar and the pressure of committing to everything. Pace yourself. Say what you need, plan for late arrivals or early exits, or choose to stay home altogether. That is not rude, it’s self-respect.

You don’t owe anyone your exhaustion.

“Rest is also a part of the season.”

Sleep doesn’t have to be earned as long as all other tasks are complete. Incorporating rest into your schedule of tasks can help balance out your entire month.

What about quiet nights staying at home, cozy nights with a blanket and a video, or even better, empty days planned accordingly? These are somehow indicative of times when you’re missing out when, in reality, they are a sign of paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you. In truth, these are often far more celebratory nights than many nights out with parties and socializing.

Progress is progress. Cleaning, organizing, and preparing, none of it needs to get done in one day. One room per day is all that is necessary. One small project per day is all that needs to be accomplished. And enough, too, with the decision to outsource as much help as possible.

The Holidays Are Not a Performance

The holidays are a season to be lived.

A Gentle Reminder

December does not have to be perfect in order to be meaningful. You can slow down, accomplish less, and put your needs first. Create your own traditions.

Protection of your energy reserves isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for you. Let the comfort of the season be your guide during the holidays.