Again, the holiday season comes around, bringing with it the never-ending invitations to gatherings. But you, as the host this year, have the power to provide the space for those living with a chronic illness to actually be a part of the fun.
All hosts wish for their guests to feel at ease, but in some cases, they do not know how much of a difference a few details could make between someone attending and someone staying at home in their PJs. Between someone having a great time at a party or someone having a miserable time, spending the evening in a state of anxiety and unease.
These aren't things that have to be expensive or hard services to provide either. This is simply a degree of awareness and consideration, though, particularly when it relates to your guests who may be dealing with health issues as well.
1. Prepare Second Bathroom for Privacy
Why this is important: For individuals with issues like Crohn's Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Endometriosis, POTS, and a host of problems associated with the digestion and uro regions, having a bathroom is not simply a matter of convenience, it is an essential.
How to do it well: If you have more than one bathroom, even just a half bathroom, make sure that this bathroom is fully stocked and is accessible for your guests. Make sure that you have plenty of toilet paper, air freshener, soap, and clean towels. Tell your guests about the bathroom as soon as they arrive at your place. You might also consider leaving a note and turning a light on so that your guests know where the bathroom is.
If you have only one bathroom available, make sure it’s equipped with everything the person may need, and create privacy with a fan or music. Never tease or comment about how long someone spends in the restroom, they are likely already self-conscious.
2. Ask About Dietary Needs (And Actually Accommodate Them)
Why it matters: There are complex considerations between food and chronic illnesses because many people are facing elimination diets, sensitivities, medications, gastrointestinal conditions, or food allergies that effectively prevent them from eating.
How to do it well: When inviting others, ask about their dietary requirements ahead of time. Then actually follow up. Provide safe and inclusive options and don't make it a spectacle. Just ensure they feel like they belong.
3. Options Instead of Assignments
Why it’s a problem: Chronic illness often involves unpredictable energy levels. An RSVP doesn’t always mean they’ll be able to deliver the promised dish or item by party day.
How to do it well: Offer choices instead of assignments. Say, “Want to bring something? If not, that’s totally okay, just come.” Let guests contribute if they can, but don’t tie their presence to performance.
4. Stock Non-Alcoholic Beverages That Aren’t Just Soft Drinks
Why this is important: Many medications and health conditions mean alcohol is off-limits. But just offering water highlights the absence, making people feel “othered.”
How to do it well: Stock fun, inclusive non-alcoholic options like mocktails, sodas, sparkling water with fruit, herbal teas, ginger beer, or kombucha. Offer them openly, not hidden in the kitchen. Someone might need the sugar from that soda, while someone else might need water to stay hydrated.
5. Establish Clear Begin and End Times
Why it matters: Routine matters when managing chronic illness. Having vague “drop by anytime” timelines creates unnecessary stress for guests who need structure.
How to do it well: Be specific. Let guests know when food is served and when things wind down. Stick to that timeline as closely as possible, many guests plan their meds or energy around it.
6. Over-communicate the Details
Why this matters: Planning is everything for someone with health concerns. When hosts don’t share key details, start times, food options, parking, etc. - it creates anxiety and isolation.
Tips for Getting it Right: Provide all the details ahead of time, including what’s on the menu and how long the event will last. Keep guests updated if anything changes. More information = more peace of mind.
7. Provide Adequate Seating
Why this matters: Standing for long periods can be painful or even dangerous for people with certain conditions like POTS or arthritis. They may leave early just to avoid the discomfort.
How to do it well: Offer ample seating throughout your space - a mix of chairs with and without arms, firm and soft. Never assume someone’s needs based on appearance. Just make sitting easy.
8. Be Easy on Fragrances
Why this is important: Strong scents, perfumes, candles, cleaners, can trigger migraines, asthma, nausea, or allergic reactions. What smells nice to one person can ruin the entire night for another.
How to do it well: Choose unscented products where possible. Skip the air fresheners. Consider asking guests not to wear heavy perfume or cologne in your invitation. Opt for cozy lights or soft music instead.
9. Incorporate Grace for Last-Minute Changes
What this means: Chronic illness is unpredictable. Someone may feel great when they RSVP and be totally unable to attend the day of. That’s not flakiness, it’s reality.
The way to do it well: Don’t guilt or question someone for canceling. Just respond with kindness: “We’ll miss you, but take care of yourself. Can I bring you some leftovers?”
10. Provide Quiet Areas
Why it's a problem: Sensory overload is real. For guests with migraines, ADHD, autism, or chronic illness, all the stimulation can be overwhelming.
Tips on how to do it effectively: Offer a quiet room or cozy corner where guests can step away. Let them know it's available and stocked with water, dim lighting, and a comfy chair. Don’t question it, just normalize it.
11. Control the Temperature
Why it matters: Temperature regulation issues are common in many chronic conditions. A room that’s too hot or stuffy can quickly become unbearable.
How to do it well: Keep it slightly cooler than usual. Provide airflow. Offer fans or shaded areas. It's easier to add a layer than to cool down when overheated.
Truly Welcoming Spaces
These aren’t “special accommodations” - they’re thoughtful, inclusive ways to create a gathering where everyone feels welcome. Most of these adjustments benefit *everyone*, not just those with health challenges. We all want to sit down, know the plan, have a drink we enjoy, and leave when we need to without feeling bad.
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